Masters of Rats
We are who we are,
Senseless,
Selfish,
Scared,
A pack of rats,
Hiding in our holes,
Scavenging from the garbage dump,
Scampering around it,
When we hear the roar of a cat,
Hoping to find ourselves in a safer place,
Once the cats get us all,
A place better than the garbage dump we’re in now.
—
I know your secret,
You may try to hide it,
But the way you look at men,
The way you don’t look at women,
I know,
I wish I could tell you, “It’s okay!”
I did a couple of times,
Veiled terms,
Yeah, I’m a writer, expect ambiguity,
You didn’t understand,
I can’t express more empathy without your confession,
You’ll never tell me,
But your lovely shy eyes do,
Even when you have a stubble on your face
To advertise your masculinity,
When I saw you last,
The hug was very long,
Because I was trying to hide my tears,
I know you are a victim of forbidden love, my dearest,
You can never see love in another man’s eyes,
And return it,
Even if you want to,
I know how much you want to love,
It’s like a little seed in your heart,
Just waiting to break free of its shell and turn into a flower,
A flower that’s not allowed to blossom,
So it’s fragrance won’t stop some rats,
From getting to that safer place.
—
“He made fun of me in front of a friend,”
You told me,
“We’ve been married for 40 years and he still humiliates me!”
I could see tears that wanted to slide down your cheeks,
They didn’t,
I’ve seen those tears want to come out,
For 30 years,
I just cringe,
I cringed again,
But what can I say,
I told him not to,
I know he won’t stop,
Because you are to be subjugated,
To be humiliated,
To be treated like a slave,
Your kind,
Or so they say,
That’s what you are,
Not human,
But a small metal rod,
That can’t feel,
It has to be beaten down,
Till it turns into a key,
A key that some rats,
Can open the door to that safe place with.
—-
I hear you cough every night,
Sometimes while you’re asleep,
Sometimes when I’m asleep,
It sounds like a broken chainsaw,
Sometimes I wake up to the sound of you violently vomiting,
Closing the bathroom door behind you,
More coughing,
I wonder if there’s blood in there,
The medecine that’s to stop you from dying,
It’s killing you,
I witness,
I know it’s incurable,
I love you, though,
I hear your suffering and I can’t stop thinking,
Would that thing they were doing with human embryos help?
You never know with scientists,
I still have hope,
But it’s killing little children,
So we both suffer,
So children that will never be born anyway,
Won’t suffer,
And some rats,
Can get to that safer place for saving them.
—
I know you’re dead,
I can’t stop thinking about you, though,
I wonder what your body looked like,
Eight years and I still wonder,
Did the bits cling to to the walls of the van?
There were five others,
How could they tell which piece of burnt meat was whose?
Bombs don’t leave victims,
They leave pieces of flesh,
Mangled bones,
I hear the heads just roll away,
Skulls are tough things, they say,
Do you even have a grave?
I never asked,
I don’t want to visit a mound of earth,
You can’t be in there,
In my thoughts, perhaps,
And the thoughts of those who sent you there,
So they and their rat friends won’t have to hide from cats,
So they can all cuddle together in that safe place.
—
A safe place that’s not a garbage dump,
The garbage dump that I’m in,
That we’re all in,
Sometimes I wonder if I, too, will go to that safe place,
When the cats have shredded my body and soul,
I wish I would,
I’ll ask the owners,
“Maybe you could have created humans,
Maybe you could’ve given them some compassion,
You didn’t, though,
So here you are,
Masters of rats!”
— Your Josh —